


Feel

by SplattifyingAgent2



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Island Mode (Dangan Ronpa), Love Confessions, Mild Language, hinamiki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:29:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28490184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SplattifyingAgent2/pseuds/SplattifyingAgent2
Summary: Mikan inadvertently scares Hajime away from her. An agonizing few days pass before he finally decides to say something about it.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Tsumiki Mikan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	Feel

**Author's Note:**

> So now Danganronpa is something that I'm into. I finished the first two games over the course of the last few months and decided I wanted to write something, so Hinamiki it is, because I love these two. That being said, I also wanted to see a fic between them that put a bit more focus on Mikan's less healthy tendencies and how Hajime would deal with that - ultimately, I didn't end up focusing on that aspect quite as much as I wanted to, but I figured this was fine where it was regardless.
> 
> I was pretty worried about this while I was writing it because I felt a lot more pressure this time to try and make sure that they were in-character - I'm still a bit worried about that, but I got some friends to read it and they said it seemed okay, so here we are. Hope you enjoy!

Mikan Tsumiki was in a bad place, and she already knew why.

It was because of Hajime Hinata. That much was clear. Something had changed between the two of them.

But she didn't know exactly what had happened to cause this change.

Did he get bored with her?

Did she do something wrong?

Had he been lying to her the whole time?

Face buried in her pillow, she shook her head. No, that last one couldn’t have been it. Hajime had been nothing but kind to her so far, and Mikan couldn’t believe that he would fake something like that.

It must’ve been her, she concluded. She must’ve done something wrong.

Tears flowed from her eyes - as if she hadn’t done enough crying already - and Mikan wracked her brain, trying to figure out what she’d done and how to right the mistake. The whole time, another thought was digging its way into her head.

_Well done, Mikan. You’ve managed to push away the one person who believed you exist._

{asterisks}

Hajime Hinata’s opinion of himself wasn’t terribly positive on the best of days, but at the moment, he was entirely certain that he was lower than dirt. He was in a mental tug-of-war that had lasted for quite some time now, and it all had to do with Mikan.

It wasn’t a fight. Not remotely. All that happened was a conversation between them, followed by some very bad decisions that he had made.

Hajime did everything he could to force the scenario out of his mind, but he was stuck reliving it once again.

It was a date - normal fare for the two of them, ever since they had officially gotten together. Jabberwock Island didn’t exactly have its share of ‘romantic getaways,’ but they made do regardless. This time, it was the beach.

They had walked aimlessly, kicking at the sand and generally enjoying themselves. It was fun, lighthearted, and exactly what Hajime liked. Mikan seemed to be having fun, and he liked that too. He liked seeing her smile.

He remembered exactly how the conversation had taken that darker turn. Mikan had mis-stepped in some way or another, and in between the usual apologies, he reassured her that she hadn’t done anything wrong. That was normal too.

That was also when she’d dropped that bombshell.

“H-Hajime, I… I really like you,” she had said. “I want…” She trailed off.

“Want what?” Hajime had asked. “You can tell me.”

“N-no, it’s too selfish…”

“C’mon,” he prodded. “I’m sure it’s not that big of a deal. I’ll listen, Mikan.”

She swallowed. “Really…?”

“Of course.”

“Um… I…” She had looked terribly nervous, but said the words anyway. “I want… I want you to stay with me forever, Hajime… I a-always want you next to me.”

He had smiled at that. “That’s not selfish at all, Mikan. I can do that.”

“Y-you can?”

“Yeah,” he had said, planting a little kiss on her forehead.

“Oh, g-good,” Mikan had replied with a happy sigh. “I w-was worried you would say no…”

Her eyes took on a distant look, and the atmosphere shifted. Hajime felt goosebumps poke out of his arms as Mikan continued. “I h-had thought of a few ways to make you rely on me forever… I could make it so that you would have to be nursed for the rest of your life… if you had said no, I might’ve gone through with it.”

A chill shot through Hajime’s body. He couldn’t believe the words that he’d just heard her say. He was waiting - no, _hoping_ \- for a warmer smile to poke through and for her to cap it off with “just kidding!” That would’ve been creepy, sure, but at least then he could just write it off as being part of an odd sense of humor.

It didn’t come, and Hajime felt his heart beat faster as the seconds continued to pass. He didn’t say a word - he _couldn’t_ say a word. How the hell was he supposed to respond to that?

Her distant look changed to one of concern as she looked up at his face. It was as if nothing was out of the ordinary. “H-Hajime? Are you alright? You look v-very pale…”

That forced a response out of him, one that was way too quick. “I-I’m fine! Totally fine, Mikan! Don’t worry about me!”

Did she buy it? Probably not. Mikan was quite perceptive. However, if she saw through the lie, it didn’t show. “I-If you say so…”

_This_ was the Mikan he liked. The one that was concerned for his well-being, who cried more than she should and apologized way too much, who shared that small, radiant smile with him and only him.

But now, Hajime had seen what lurked beneath that surface, and he was utterly terrified.

“I’m actually, uh… feeling a bit tired,” he supplied. “Haven’t been sleeping too well lately.”

That brought the concerned look back. “W-would you like me to help? The pharmacy has some s-soporifics… I could give you a shot and-”

“ _No!_ ” he immediately said. “Uh, that… that isn’t necessary, Mikan. I think I could just use a nap. S-sorry.”

She swallowed. He thought he could see tears beading at the corners of her eyes. “O-okay… um…”

She hesitated. “H-Hajime, I’m… um… I’ll… see you l-later…?”

“Right,” Hajime said, already taking a couple steps away from her. “Later.”

And he’d turned on his heel and walked off toward his cottage, noticeably faster than usual.

“Son of a _bitch!_ ” Hajime shouted, slamming one hand down on his bed as the scenario in his head ended. “Hajime, you _idiot!_ ”

And that wasn’t even the worst part, because in the following days, he had started avoiding her.

Even that morning at breakfast. Another exchange entered his mind, and Hajime groaned.

“H-Hajime?” she had asked. “W-would you like to sit together today?”

Hajime had swallowed nervously, and looking back on it, he would’ve loved for Nekomaru or Akane to punch him out. “Um… sorry, I’d rather be alone today. I got some stuff I need to think about.”

She had frowned in response. “R-right… I’m sorry to be such a burden…” Before he could turn and go to a different table, she spoke again. “Do you w-want to go out later today, t-then?”

Hajime had gritted his teeth as he turned away. “I already made plans with Ibuki and Kazuichi,” he lied. “Maybe another time.”

He wasn’t a good liar. Hajime heard Mikan sniffle behind him. “Of course…” she whispered, barely audible to him. “I’m s-sorry…”

He had walked off without a response to sit alone.

Two voices rang out in his head once he returned to the present. _She’s nuts_ , the first one said. _You’re lucky you got out when you did_.

_She needs help_ , the other one argued. _Running away won’t give her that. And she liked you._

_It’s not healthy. Who the hell_ says _something like that to someone? And are you forgetting the other stuff she’s told you? About why she became a nurse?_

Hajime clutched his head and groaned.

_It’s not her fault. You were helping her, and then you ran away. It’s probably tearing her up._

_Let it. If you get too close to her, she’ll kill you._

_You care about her, Hajime. Stop denying it._

He groaned again. “Dammit,” he whispered. He faintly realized that his cheeks were wet.

He sat up from his bed. “Dammit, dammit, dammit.” He exited his cottage and turned left. “Dammit.” He stood in front of her cottage door, and lifted one hand. “ _Dammit_.”

That was when he hesitated. His hand was balled into a fist, hovering right next to the door to Mikan’s cottage, and he found himself unable to knock. He was frozen with… something. Fear? Anticipation?

Whatever it was, he couldn’t bring himself to rap his knuckles on her door. Luckily (or unluckily, as it was), he didn’t have to. It swung open anyway, and Mikan was standing there. She yelped in surprise. “Ah! H-Hajime!”

His eyes went wide in response. “Mikan… um… hi,” he said lamely. “Can I come in?”

She didn’t respond for a moment, seemingly entranced. “Ah, p-please come in, Hajime…” she eventually said, stepping out of his way, and Hajime entered the cottage.

He hadn’t been in here before, but this wasn’t the time to look around. He stood in the middle of the room and turned to face Mikan, who closed the door behind him, and the two of them stared at each other awkwardly for a moment. He vaguely noticed that she wasn’t wearing her apron.

Before Hajime could say anything, however, Mikan buried her head in her hands and dropped to her knees with a sob. “H-Hajime… I’m… I’m so sorryyyyyyyyy…!”

He stared. “M-Mikan?”

She crawled forward, still crying, and did something that Hajime was not expecting.

She reached toward the front of his pants, and tried to take them off.

“Hey, Mikan, what the hell are you doing?!” he asked reflexively, and stepped back.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she blubbered. “I-I’ll do whatever you want, Hajime…! Just please don’t h-hate me!” As she said this, she popped a few buttons on her blouse and began to shrug out of it.

This spurred Hajime into action, finally, and he knelt down in front of her and put his hands on her now-bare shoulders. Forcing himself not to panic, he kept his tone gentle. “Mikan, please stop.”

She did, freezing right in place, and looked up at him. “H… Hajime…”

He swallowed. “You don’t… you don’t have to do anything, alright? I’m the one who needs to apologize…”

She shook her head vigorously. “N-no! I-I… I did something wrong, I know it…! I-I…!”

Mikan hiccupped, and sobbed. “This was… p-punishment… right…?”

Hajime’s tongue felt like sandpaper. He wanted to disagree, but… well, ultimately, she wasn’t wrong, was she?

She hugged herself and looked up at his face. “H-Hajime, please… please, d-do whatever you want with me! Y-you can draw on me, o-or make me b-bleed, or h-have your way with my body! Please, just… please do _something!_ ”

She was desperate and hysterical. Calming her down was the first step. “Mikan, I-I don’t want to punish you!”

“Then why were you staying away from me?!” she snapped. It was the first time he’d ever heard Mikan sound angry.

Immediately, however, she leaned back and slapped her hands over her mouth. “Ah, I-I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t h-have questioned you, Hajime!”

Hajime watched this, concerned. He raised his hands defensively. “Mikan, please just stop for a moment.”

She froze. Now that he could get a good look at her, Hajime could see that Mikan’s eyes were red and puffy - she must’ve been crying even before he showed up.

“Can you just listen to me for a second? Please?” he asked.

Mikan’s breathing was ragged, but she nodded a few times. Another sob escaped from her mouth, and she covered it again.

“You really… really scared me, Mikan,” Hajime confessed. “Like, terrified. That’s why I’ve been avoiding you.”

She swallowed. “I… I’m sorry, but… w-when? H-how…?”

It was a bit unnerving that she didn’t remember, but he explained anyway. “That last date we had, on the beach. You asked if I would stay by your side forever, and I said yes. And then you said that if I said no, you might’ve… _done something_ to me so you’d have to nurse me for the rest of my life.”

Mikan’s eyes were wide and wet, but she said nothing.

“You… honestly scared me to hell,” he continued. He spoke as gently as he could, but there was no way to sugarcoat this. “That’s not something you can just _say_ , Mikan. I kept thinking about that, and it just… it terrified me. _You_ terrified me.”

She swallowed, taking this all in. “H-Hajime… do I still… scare you…?”

He scratched the back of his head. “I… I don’t know.”

Mikan sniffled. “That… that was never… my intention…” she whispered between hiccups. “I’m so s-sorry…”

“I know,” he replied softly. “I know now, at least.”

Neither of them spoke for a moment. Mikan continued to cry in front of him, and Hajime ran a hand back through his hair as he thought of how to continue.

“Mikan?” he eventually said. She looked up at him again.

“The reason I came here wasn’t to berate you, y’know.”

She swallowed, and Hajime could’ve sworn she shrunk away from him, just a little bit. “W… why, then…?”

“I came to apologize.”

Her eyes went wide. “Y… you didn’t… do anything wrong, though… it w-was all my fault…!”

“No, that’s wrong,” Hajime said. “I was… I acted like a total idiot. Like… yeah, you scared me to hell, but that wasn’t… I shouldn’t have avoided you. I’m apologizing for that. I should’ve… I should’ve talked to you right away. This wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for me. So… I’m really sorry.”

Mikan hiccupped. “H-Hajime… n-no one’s ever apologized t-to me like that before…”

He blinked. “Like what?”

“Like…” She seemed to be searching for words. “Like… they meant it.”

Hajime scratched the back of his head. “I thought you were gonna say something like ‘no one’s ever done it at all.’”

Mikan shook her head. “N-no… some p-people have. But they always l-laughed afterward. It wasn’t… real.” She looked right into his eyes now. “But… y-you… it’s r-real with you, Hajime. You’re even… crying.”

He blinked again, and raised one hand to his cheek. Indeed, it came away wet. “I… I didn’t even notice.”

“I was… I was scared too,” Mikan continued. Her voice wavered. “I thought… I t-thought… you didn’t care about me a-anymore…” She swallowed. “I-I wanted to talk to you again… o-or for you to l-look at me… like you did before…”

A sob escaped her mouth again. “E-even if… even if you were going to h-hit me... i-it would’ve made me h-happy just to have you close to me again…”

The sharp realization of what she was saying felt like a knife in his gut, and Hajime felt anger bubble up from deep within his stomach.

However, this anger was directed far away from Mikan - the person that Hajime was angry with was himself.

“Dammit,” he whispered. That was all he could allow himself to do right now - he didn’t want to upset her again.

Mikan heard him say it, and she watched him quizzically.

“Mikan…” Hajime started. His throat suddenly felt quite dry, and the colours making up the world in front of him swirled and blurred from the tears in his eyes. “I’m… I am so, so s-sorry. I… holy _shit_ , I had no idea you felt like that. This is… I shouldn’t have l-left you like that. Not for a s-second.”

His shoulders began to shake. “I can’t… I can’t a-apologize to you enough, M-Mikan… I…” He choked on the words as they escaped his mouth, but pressed on regardless, clutching his head with one hand. “I _do_ care about you, M-Mikan, I… I care about you so m-much, and I… I feel like shit for l-leaving you alone like that. I can’t… I can’t forgive myself for this…”

The tears were flowing freely now, and he bowed his head. Hajime probably looked like a mess right now, and he didn’t care one bit. He needed to tell her, finally, just how badly he felt about this whole thing.

He felt a hand on his chin, and Mikan tilted his head up toward her. He could see that she was crying too.

“I-I forgive you, H-Hajime…!” she said. “I… y-you… y-you don’t have to a-apologize anymore… I forgive you…!”

Hajime shook his head. “I don’t… I don’t deserve that, Mikan. I l-left you all alone…”

“A-all I want is to have you close to me, Hajime,” Mikan told him. “I-I… e-even if you l-left me alone… y-you still came back… Please… please d-don’t beat yourself up like this…! I don’t w-want to see you in pain!”

Hajime swallowed thickly. “Mikan…”

“Hajime, I…” She looked terribly anxious, but continued anyway. “I… I l-love you, Hajime…!”

His heart skipped a beat. “What? Y-you do?”

“That’s why… it h-hurts so much to see you like this…!” Mikan confessed. Her voice was wavering again. “I d-don’t want you to waste time worrying about me when y-you could be happy…!”

“It’s not a waste of time at all!” he told her. “It… it’s not… You _matter_ to me, Mikan. I… I care about you, I promise. And when… when someone is important to me, then it could never be a waste of time to worry about them.”

“Hajime…?”

“Mikan, I…” He hesitated, wrestling with his inner thoughts for a moment, before pressing on. “I love you too.”

She gasped. “You… you… w-what…?”

“I said I love you too, Mikan,” he repeated. “I… I’m not gonna leave your side. I promise.”

Her eyes went wide. “H… Hajime… do you mean that…?”

“Of course I do,” he said. “I love you, Mikan, and I’ll say it as many times as I need to.”

She swayed in place a bit. He must’ve shocked her. “C-can you say it again…?”

“I love you.”

A languid smile spread across her face. “One more time…”

Hajime returned it. “I love you, Mikan.”

She sighed happily. “H-Hajime, I… thank you so much…”

Mikan reached her arms out and pulled Hajime into a hug, and it was then that he realized how much he missed being able to touch her.

“I’m not gonna leave you again,” he whispered, returning it. “I promise.”

She sniffled, but a quiet laugh escaped from her lips anyway.

“I believe you.”


End file.
